The Grieving Process

Grieving Process

"Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning."

Psalms 30:5 NKJV

Our grieving process, resulting from our trauma, can be expressed in many ways. There are five typical stages of grieving you need to recognize.

 

  1. Denial: "I am fine, everything is fine". Some of the symptoms usually include shock, avoidance, numbness, keeping busy all the time, and forgetting things.
  2. Anger: "I am so angry they are gone." Or, "I am so angry that I let someone hurt me again." Some common symptoms are rage, frustation, pessimism, resentment, and impatience."
  3. Bargaining: "I promise I will change if they come back." Or, "I know that I can change them if,..." Focusing on the past or over thinking things are a good indicator of the bargaining stage, along with blame, shame guilt, fear, anxiety, perfectionism, and insecurity.
  4. Depression: "I feel hopeless about my future without them" Or, "I know that I will never love or trust anyone again." This stage is difficult and is often accompanied by sleep and appetite changes. We can experience hopelessness, sadness, despair, overwhelming feelings, crying, reduced energy and motivation, and sometimes we see increased alchohol or drug abuse.
  5. Acceptance: "I can go on with my life and deal with their abscence." Or, "I can forgive them for what happened and wish them well. I will rebuild my life with God's help." This final stage is about engaging with reality as it is. We become courageous and have self-compassion, we find wisdom as we adapt and developp healthy coping skills, responding rather than reacting to situations. We can finally be fully present in the moments of life.

 

 

Examples of situations that cause loss or grief symptoms:

  1. A death of a spouse, child or loved one
  2. Natural disaster
  3. Seperation from spouse or loss of marriage through divorce
  4. Loss of health
  5. Poor or hurtful choices of one's children
  6. Loss of a home to foreclosure
  7. Loss or death of a beloved family pet
  8. Loss of a job
  9. Financial loss due to unscrupulous dealings
  10. Loss of a relationship
  11. Breakup of some kind
  12. Being overlooked for promotion
  13. Miscarriage
  14. Abortion
  15. Career change
  16. Imprisionment of a loved one
  17. Late in life parenting or parenting as a grandparent due to unforseen circumstances
  18. Retirement, etc.

 

LIFE HAPPENS. DEALING WITH ANY LOSS OR DISAPPOINTMENT QUALIFIES.

 

Remember, lack of grief does not mean you have forgotten a loved one. It does'nt mean that they mean less to you. IT DOES MEAN, that you are turning that grief into something meaningful, perhaps that helps others or leaves a legacy for the one who died.